No doubt about it! The Internet can make attracting,
sorting, and pre-qualifying prospects a breeze.

Nonetheless, you still need to develop a relationship with
your new recruits, preferably before they enroll, or your
organization will be built on sand, and your long-term
retention rate will be next to zip.

The three pointers that follow will help you get on your
prospect’s wavelength.

In my younger days, I suffered from horrible shyness and
didn’t enjoy small talk at all. Social situations with
strangers were about as much fun as sticking my hand in a
blender - I never knew what to say to people. Then one day I
read this true story:

A traveler found himself stuck on a long plane ride next to
a totally obnoxious passenger. No doubt the traveler went
through the same thoughts and emotions as anyone else in
this situation — basically, GET ME OUT OF HERE!

But then, just to pass the time, he decided to play a little
game with himself and see if he could figure out what
factors contributed to his seatmate’s offensive attitude.
Without revealing his motives, he started asking him
questions about his background, his childhood, his family
and so forth.

What happened next completely surprised the traveler! The
more questions he asked, the more pleasant his companion
became. They ended up having a wonderful conversation!

This really hit me. What a simple solution to the problem
of not knowing how to break the ice with strangers! It
illustrates one of the tips I want to cover in this article:

ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PROSPECT.

This serves three important purposes. It lets her know
you’re genuinely interested in her; it gives you the chance
to gather information about her that could be useful later
on; and believe it or not, it actually allows you to
maintain better control of the conversation.

When interviewing a new prospect, start with a few pre-set
questions to get the ball rolling. As things progress,
though, let go of your agenda and base your questions on
what she’s telling you.

This requires a little more “thinking on your feet,” so
don’t be afraid to pause for just a moment to formulate what
you’ll say next, rather than jumping in on her last word.
Remember, you’re just having a conversation with her. Relax
and enjoy it.

The second tip goes right along with the first:

LISTEN ACTIVELY.

This means more than simply hearing what she says and
nodding in agreement every now and then. Active listening
means SINCERELY paying attention and paraphrasing back to
her the gist of what you’re hearing from time to time.

For example, during the interview it might be appropriate to
say something like, “I see — your husband’s job situation
makes it very hard to spend time together as a family.” Or,
“If I hear what you’re saying, you’d like a more challenging
job.”

Active listening has three benefits (at least!).

First, it forces you to really pay attention to what she’s
saying, which you need to do anyway.

Second, it gives you instant feedback as to whether or not
you really understand her.

And third, and most important, your prospect will LOVE you
for truly hearing her. If she’s like most people, she wants
to feel that someone cares about what she has to say.
Unfortunately, that desire often goes unanswered. If you
really LISTEN to her for a change, you’ll be her friend for
life.

The third tip I learned only recently. It may sound
trivial, but if you try it, you’ll see how powerfully it can
affect the conversation.

You’ve probably been told to always sound upbeat and
enthusiastic when talking about your business. And yes — A
lot of people will respond positively to this approach. One
problem, though - plenty of other folks will think you sound
like a big phony and won’t trust you.

How can you predict which way your prospect will react so
you can adjust your tone of voice to suit her? Try this
simple solution:

MODULATE YOUR TONE OF VOICE TO MATCH YOUR PROSPECT’S.

In other words, if she sounds boisterous and outgoing,
respond in kind. But, if she seems quiet and shy, tone it
down. This will produce much better chemistry. Your
prospect will subconsciously feel that she can relate to you
— that you’re just like her.

When I first heard of this, it seemed like a sneaky
technique to try to manipulate people. But after giving it
some thought and trying it out, I realized that no, I’m just
exhibiting good manners and making the other person more
comfortable. After all, in order to do it right, you need to
be sensitive to your prospect and listen carefully.

All people want to know that their thoughts and ideas
matter. They want to feel important. And that’s exactly
what will happen when you show a sincere interest in them by
using these three simple approaches. You’ll build rapport,
earn their trust, and lay a solid foundation for a future
relationship.

(c) 2007 Liz Monte
Burn your names list! Now that you know what to say to your
prospects, how would you like to have them calling YOU
first? Liz Monte shows you how to attract tons of qualified,
enthusiastic leaders into your organization in her free
mini-course, “Attraction Marketing for Networkers.”
http://www.wisenetworkmarketer.com